"Katie Beth asked me to contribute every now and then to Ashraya’s blog since I am (I still can’t believe it…ahh!!) now considered one of the interns for this fall’s adventure. So, here is my first post. It might seem a tad scatter-brained, well, because it is.
As you near the end of college, you inevitably start to think about what’s next and what your life is going to look like in the next few years. I seriously never would have dreamed a year ago that I would be planning to do something like this. It just so happens in the past year and a half of college I have felt like I have started to truly hear the Gospel for the first time. And honestly I’ve said that many times before. The awesome thing about the Gospel is, when you seek Christ, it will renew itself again and again as you are becoming more and more like Him. I love that. It hurts a little sometimes to always be changing and chipping away at your old self and giving up old habits as well as forming better ones, but it is ultimately life-giving and fulfilling to my soul. I am so thankful for the power Christ has to shape and form our lives. So because of that, I have simply wanted more of God in my life. I want to surrender my wants and desires and replace them with His. The past year, I kept feeling the desire to just spend some time in a REALLY different place just serving. India came to mind and continued to be in my mind for months. I finally decided to pursue it, and God quickly provided me with this amazing opportunity to help Katie Beth with Ashraya Mission.
I speculate that this adventure to India is going to be a huge eye-opener to me in revealing the heart and nature of God. I was telling Katie Beth this the other day, but it is really hard for me to feel a connection at this point with the people of India and the mission we have set out for us. And that totally makes sense—to not have a connection or a super strong passion yet. I have been praying for God to give me a heart right now for the mission set out for us and for the children and people of India. But I realize most of that passion will have to come with the experience and seeing these people face to face. I have never before talked to a child who doesn’t understand what it is to truly be loved, but only can correlate human relationships with abuse. I don’t understand that yet. And you can’t really understand that until you encounter it firsthand. I have also never been to a place where all of my normal comforts of home will not be there. That is another reason I have felt drawn to India. I am welcoming the opportunity to be put in a situation where I have to rely completely on God without having the comfortable resources of home. And I am hoping and praying that I will leave there having increased my desire to join God in redeeming the brokenness of our world. I have felt called to let go for a little while the normalcy of home to open myself up for God to use me and change me. I believe fully that any increased communion with God I experience will certainly drive me towards community with others, particularly those on the fringes of society.
I’ve never done something like this before. So your prayers will be totally appreciated! The team has a large endeavor set before us, but we are trusting God is going to use us and provide for us as long as we are laying down our lives before Him. Many times I feel inadequate to be a part of this amazing team, but I know God has led me to this, and also He seems to use the most “inadequate” people to do His work…what awesome grace!!!!
Thanks for reading… I hope Christ is transforming your life daily as you seek Him."
Caroline
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